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Improve Your Relationship Overnight: Remove Alcohol

I wrote this post to give you one simple way to improve your relationship. If you’re a non-drinker or if you genuinely do not have a problem with alcohol, then read this post and consider another destructive habit that you want to banish in order to improve your relationship. I’ve stopped drinking 3 months ago, and this has unmistakably been the key factor in our relationship’s recent improvement. We’re closer than ever, we fight less, and we’re closer to an ideal relationship than I ever imagined. There’s a number of things that contributed to our success – like reading one relationship book per month – but the one thing that has allowed me to be a better boyfriend, was giving up alcohol forever.

Here are three reasons why I stopped drinking:

Reason #1 To be able to perform during group sex

At a play party, my partner found a very attractive tall blonde and apparently I had sex with her. Sadly, I don’t remember any of it because I drank too much. Bummer! We went to another play party a few weeks later. I drank, smoked weed, and 30 minutes later, I vomited all over the carpet. I spent the rest of the night curled in the fetal position, in my partner’s arms, while she turned down advances from really hot women. I promised myself, to never again miss out on fun sexual adventures like these.

So I decided “I’m giving up alcohol for 30 days”. Although we did not go to another play party, we did notice an immediate change in my mood. I was much nicer, and even when my partner and I argued, I did not lose my temper, as I had done sometimes previously. After a 30 day alcohol break, I started drinking again. After one weekend of drinking, I fully recovered by Sunday, and was feeling 100% by Monday… or so I thought.

Reason #2 To gain more control over my emotions

That Monday, we got into huge fight over something trivial and we nearly broke up. I realized then that, not only am I an asshole when I drink, but I’m asshole several days later, because my mood was is affected by the weekend’s drinking. I thought that once you got past the hangover the day following drinking, then you’re pretty much free of alcohol’s affects. But for me, its affects were felt much later than one day, and caused mood swings, even with a moderate 3 – 4 drinks a night. https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo/problems/alcoholanddrugs/alcoholdepression.aspx

This was a not-so-obvious reason to stop drinking, but the 30-day break allowed me to see the subtle affect alcohol had on my mood.

Reason #3 To keep a good relationship going

Even though our fights were not a regular occurrence, we believed that we did not have to fight at all. So something needed to change. I could’ve done many things to improve our relationship, like taking a seminar, or seeing a relationship counselor — but there was one thing that would have the biggest impact, in the shortest amount of time. Since nearly all of our fights happened after a weekend of drinking, it was clear that alcohol was the elephant in the room, and it needed to be poached.

How I gave up alcohol for good

We won’t really know if my method is successful until a few years from now, but my goal was to not drink at all, and I’ve gone without drinking the longest stretch of time since I began in college. I feel like this is a great success since it has improved my relationship drastically. So much so that, when I watch my favorite love story, Last of the Mohicans, I can really relate to what those characters are feeling!

1. Having several reasons to stop drinking are better than having only one

Take a look at all the things that alcohol affects in your life. How are your relationships, sex life, bank account and your productivity affected by alcohol? Even if alcohol has a minor negative affect in all areas, when you add them together, it can still have a substantial impact on your overall quality of life.

2. You don’t need to be an alcoholic to justify giving up alcohol

If you’re not a certified alcoholic, it is difficult to justify banishing it from your life. This is why alcohol can be so destructive: because you can easily underestimate its affect on you. As Brian Tracy says, for any life goal, each action is either moving you towards or away from that goal. The same is true with a successful relationship; you’re either moving towards or away from it. Consider this question the next time you order your 4th or 5th drink: “Is this drink helping me move toward having a better relationship?” If it’s not, then put it down! You don’t need it.

3. Take a break from alcohol to see how your relationship improves without it

When my partner and I stopped drinking for 30 days we saw a drastic improvement in how we related to each other. When I started drinking again, we immediately saw the reverse happen. However, at the time it was not so obvious that alcohol was the problem, because we did not argue as much when I was drinking, as we did the following Wednesday or Thursday. Without taking a long break from alcohol, we would have not discovered how much alcohol was affecting my mood.

4. Quitting forever is easier than quitting for 30 days

During the 30 days of no drinking, I found myself saying, “Oh man I can’t wait till the first of the month, so I can drink again!” This craving was torturous. When I decided to give up drinking for good, it was much easier for me to abstain from alcohol because my identity was that of a non-drinker. Your identity has the biggest impact on the actions you take in life and by no longer identifying myself as a “drinker” made it easier to resist alcohol, versus being a drinker who is “taking a 30-day break.” I figured that as a non-smoker it was easy to resist a cigarette, why not consider myself a non-drinker as well?

I hope this article helps you abstain from anything that’s not helping you in your relationship.

Just remember how much better your life could be by removing the bullshit that you don’t need.

E-mail me or comment below if you have any questions!

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