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Author Archives: Pearl

Erotic Film Festivals You Should Follow on Twitter

Thanks to @PinkLabelTV for putting this list together.

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What is Virtual Sex?

Sex tech consultant Lux Alptraum on her early experiences doing a cam show in the 90s, the term “cyber sex,” the virtual sex toy market, and whether sex robots are in our future.

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Monday Moan-day Artwork Fix

Nobody likes Mondays. It means back to work and bo-ring real world stuff. So we’re giving you a better thing to moan about: orgasms!

Ever notice how a person’s face during and just after climax looks a bit like a face in pain? It’s a beautiful agony.  Today’s feature is a snapshot of Pearl in this agonizing / orgasmic moment. Click the image below to download full size.  Feel free to use as your background or whatever.  Just don’t let your boss catch you minimizing your windows and jerking off on your lunch break.

Go ahead and repost as long as you give a link back.  Happy Moan-day!


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Most Women Do Not Orgasm from Penetration Alone

That’s right, folks. We women are complex creatures.  It takes us longer to get aroused than our male counterparts, and it usually takes a combination of things to put us over the edge (clitoral stimulation being the first thing that comes to mind, but I’ve also known women who can climax just from their nipples being stimulated! not to mention a nice caress or a deep massage on the inner thighs, neck, etc. etc. to deepen the orgasmic experience).

I bring this up because I recently dated someone who was frankly offended when I wanted to reach around to my clitoris while he was banging me doggy style so that I could go over at the same time as him.  He thought it was insulting to his penis, like he wasn’t doing a good job or something. Let’s get one thing straight here: I love being banged by my man, doggy style, for many reasons. Only one of them is easy access to my own clit.  So I reassured him that it had nothing to do with his penis being inadequate, and had everything to do with me just knowing what I like.

Side note: I realize that I sometimes take too much control of my orgasm which can scare a guy or even make him feel like he’s not part of the equation, so I am learning to back off a little, and focus even more on the feeling of being penetrated, and of course awakening my G-spot which, when done right, is incredibly fulfilling.  However, I was surprised at his reaction to my clit-forwardness, because to me that is such a wonderful part of my anatomy which produces so much pleasure.  I feel that ignoring it for the sake of allowing a man to feel more… I don’t know – manly? is paramount to a crime against women.  So I agreed to do a little work with him so I wouldn’t rely on the clitoris so much to climax, and also encouraged him to explore my clitoris more so it feels like a shared experience, rather than something I do when I’m not getting what I want from his penis (which isn’t the case at all).  I am also careful to always ask him permission to start touching my clit now.  Sometimes he even tells me, “go ahead and touch your clit” which super turns me on and is a game in and of itself.  It puts him in a more dominant position and the anticipation builds that way, so by the time I am actually touching my clitoris — or he is — it feels like some kind of reward.

One time he also expressed that when I grab his cock and rub it all over the outside of my vaginal opening and clitoris, and then put it back inside, it makes him feel like some kind of human dildo.  OK so we have some deeper issues here, which I don’t necessarily need to address in this post, but you can see how some men could see a turned-on, in-control woman and take it completely the wrong way.   I thought I was just showing him what I liked and that the feeling we both had would be one of teasing and shared pleasure.  Apparently it made him feel less a part of the process.  We probably need to do some work on D/s to define our roles in the bedroom a bit better.  I refuse to have sexual experiences where I am silent and/or faking things, but I can probably be a bit more subtle in my approach to getting what I want, now that I understand how he feels about it.

Anyway, what this all comes down to is that we have a catch-22 where women are expected to love being penetrated by men, objects… even food?? and to get off on that alone. I blame porn for a lot of this conception, which portrays women being rammed by huge cocks and loving every second of it.  When this is not the case, either the woman is made to feel that there’s something wrong with her, or the man feels inadequate.  Or the woman sits there in silence until her man gets off. Or she feigns pleasure while hoping he gets off soon. Or she fakes an orgasm so he thinks he’s doing a good job only to find out months later that she actually thinks he’s lousy in bed.  Hmmm…

The reality is that women prefer some combination of stimulus, and while the exact combination varies from woman to woman, one of the most exciting things about being with a woman is that you get to play with all of her buttons. Find out what sequence, and how hard or how soft, or how much she can handle being teased before she either gets bored or explodes in ecstasy.  Encourage your woman to either signal subtly, or speak directly with you about what she likes.  Feel free to challenge her and push her limits in ways she wouldn’t do on her own, but do not ever, ever underestimate her and the power of her full-body orgasm. Be the one who can help her harness that capability, rather than putting expectations on her that are limiting and detrimental to your communication and sexual experiences together.

On a lighter note, check out this awesome video which contains tidbits like “71% of women do not orgasm from penetration alone” and others that highlight some common misconceptions about sex that we get from porn.  Hopefully the next time you get to bed with your partner you feel a little more secure, and open to exploration together.

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What Could 365 Straight Days of Sex do for You and Your Partner?

A mother of 3 and her husband decide to have sex every day for a year. Watch this short interview from HLN, a CNN television network, then leave your thoughts in the comments below.

Could consistent sex help you and your partner move past emotional barriers?

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Squirting Chronicles: Q&A with the Lioness

This week, we follow up on the erotic tale of two kitties (forgive our pun) with a special Q&A that probes a bit deeper into the “how-to” of female ejaculation, from the lioness’ perspective.

Real Sexy Talk:  The question is, how did it feel?

Lioness:  Well, at first I felt surprised because I knew that I’d been aroused. I had been watching [my pet Kitty and the bird] fuck and telling them how to fuck. I’d been putting them in positions, I’d been making her suck his cock, and I’d been not letting him get next to her pussy… “but you can kiss her knees now. You can kiss her thighs. Now you can just breathe your breath on her pussy.” And the whole time I can feel it. It’s like this arousal building up inside me. It’s like this anticipation. My pussy is so tight like I feel like if you try to stick your finger inside me, it would be clenched on you and you’d feel like, is this a lioness?

Wow! It’s like a faucet and I know exactly how to turn it.

Then he did finally stick his finger in me. It was like…

Here’s what he said, “Wow! It’s like a faucet and I know exactly how to turn it.”

And it just started gushing and gushing and I said, “Be careful. If you leave on vacation, you better turn if off, because if you come back your house will be flooded.”

To answer your question in very verbose terms, it felt like I was having the most amazing wave of pleasure go over me, but it also felt surprising because I didn’t expect it. I was so in awe of her gushing so amazingly.

Last weekend, we made another girl friend of ours gush. It’s like it’s in the air.

So I was surprised when I did it, but I was also so pleasured. It was like this release, and then I was giggly. I was giddy like a little girl because when the fourth one came and the fourth one was so massive I was like, “Somebody, get me a drink of water so that I don’t die of dehydration.”

And because I’m a nerdy little lion, my mind wandered quickly to the physiology of it and how there’s a gland there, and the gland the whole time that I was orchestrating this scene was just filling up with all this jizz and it wasn’t – it was viscous – it wasn’t like liquid; it wasn’t like water. It was like lube, really, and it was so sweet smelling. I could smell it, I could feel it, and I could feel it on my thighs. I was wearing these fishnets and this little latex dress – and it was everywhere. I was so happy about the situation and just feeling like, “Oh!”

It’s not like an orgasm that you have from your clit. It’s a different kind of orgasm. It’s milder. If a clitoral orgasm is like getting on top of the roller coaster and you’re just climbing, climbing, climbing and then all of a sudden it’s like, “whoa!” then, ejaculating is more like being in nature. Feeling peaceful, and feeling so happy to be a woman and know what it’s like to have a part of your pussy that works this way.

It’s so sweet and warm.  It feels like I’m relaxing into a new kind of sexual expression.

Real Sexy Talk:  Does make you feel more dominant, more in control when you’re having an ejaculation? Especially since its something that only a man had until now?

Lioness:  It does. I would say yes, that it makes me aware of that part of me, like I am actually having an ejaculate come out of me. But it feels so divinely feminine. And because when I’ve masturbated, I’ve never made myself squirt. It’s only happened with men, and it’s only happened with men that I really love… and who love my little pet in such a special way. It’s happened with my ex-husband, and it’s happened with the other men that I’ve been completely in love with. They all know exactly how to stroke me in a way that… I feel like my fingers are not long enough to do on my own.

If a clitoral orgasm is like getting on top of the roller coaster and you’re just climbing, climbing, climbing and then all of a sudden it’s like, “whoa!” then, ejaculating is more like being in nature.

So it feels very much like it’s a collaboration. It might be possible for me to figure out how to do it myself, but I feel like I have the rest of my life to do that. Right now I enjoy that it’s a collaborative effort.

Real Sexy Talk (to Bent):  How do you feel when a woman squirts? How do you make them squirt, first of all? Did you do it on purpose?

Bent [the Kitty]: I think my fingers just slid into her, by accident.

[Everyone laughs]

Bent [the Kitty]: I just stick it inside. Then it just opened. Then I went again. I rub it even more.

Lioness:  But it seems like he knows exactly how to rub, and where.

Real Sexy Talk:  Do you practice this a lot?

Lioness (urging her pet):  Tell me more, please.

Bent [the Kitty]: Well, I touched your G-spot a little bit. It was so excited, so I didn’t even have to rub much.

Real Sexy Talk:  Not that much effort…

Bent [the Kitty]: I pulled my hand, my fingers up against your G-spot real hard, stroking your cervix. Oh, yeah.

Lioness:  And we have been fucking like we invented sex.

Real Sexy Talk:  That’s fucking crazy.

Lioness:  He’s been fucking my G-spot so he knows exactly where it is, because he’s felt it with his cock every morning, and most evenings.

Real Sexy Talk:  What does it feel like? What does the G-spot feel like?

Bent [the Kitty]: It feels good.

Real Sexy Talk: How do you find it? How do you know you’re on it?

Bent [the Kitty]: It’s the texture I guess.

Lioness:  What’s the texture like?

Real Sexy Talk:  Yeah, what is it like?

Bent [the Kitty]:  Little thing coming out – put! Coming up – put, put, put! It just wants to erupt.

Real Sexy Talk:  Like a button?

Lioness:  When I feel it with my finger, it feels like it’s ribbed.

Bent [the Kitty]: Exactly. For pleasure.


Bent [the Kitty]: It’s rough. She says, “Rub me more. Oh yeah, that’s good. Keep rubbing. Oh yeah!”

Real Sexy Talk: Really, like that?

Bent [the Kitty]: “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Real Sexy Talk:  If the G-spot could talk, this is what the G-spot would say.

Bent [the Kitty]: You just have to listen. That’s what it says.

Lioness:  When he’ll fuck me in the morning, he’ll get on top and I’ll start with my legs down because with my legs down, that’s how I come the fastest, because I can squeeze my thighs. Then as soon as I come, he pushes my legs up over to my ears and then he gets right to my G-spot. Then it’s so sensitive it’s like, engorged at that point. Then he just fucking thrills me.


Lioness:  Yes, it’s super fun.

Real Sexy Talk:  Well, you two certainly have a strong connection and a great time together.

Lioness:  One last little note, is that this story happened last night. I know you’ve been trying to get a hold of me forever, Blake and Pearl. But if we had gotten together last week, I couldn’t have told you this story. I would have told you a story about a Canadian girl that we made squirt. But this story, I got to tell you about myself – so the timing could not be better!

Real Sexy Talk:  I’m so glad you finally got to experience ejaculating for yourself, Lioness. Thanks to you and Bent for sharing your exotic, erotic adventure with us. We look forward to hearing more in the future!

Women, have you ever felt as turned on as our lioness did in this encounter? What would make you even more turned on?

Men, have you tried to find your partner’s G-spot (male or female)? What did you find? Is your description of the G-spot similar to Bent’s, or different?

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Squirting Chronicles: The Lioness, the Kitty, and the Exotic Bird

This week, we bring you an erotic tale of two kitties (forgive our pun), as told by our good friend, the Lioness. Next week, we’ll share with you a special Q&A which probes a bit deeper into the “how-to” of female ejaculation, from the lioness’ unique perspective.

Lioness: A little bedtime story, starring Lioness and her pet who she loves and adores. He’s not gay and he’s not straight. He’s a little bit crooked, so we call him “Bent.”

My pet and I meet to park the van for Folsom and he says, “Lioness, we’re going to a party.”

I said, “Oh, I want to go to bed.”

He said, “No. Come to the party.”

So I go to the party and I realize although I look pretty cute, I’m wearing the wrong thing. However, I have a latex dress in the back of my car because I went to Divine Bitches the night before. So I put on my latex dress and we go in. Like a good little kitty, we’re at the party and he brings me a treasure. You know how kitties like to bring a mouse to you?

Real Sexy Talk: As long as it’s not a dead bird.

Our Heroine: The Exotic, Erotic Bird Perches on a Tree BranchLioness: It’s not a dead bird. It’s a live, exotic bird. And the live, exotic bird she’s so pretty. She’s so pretty she’s like a little chocolate bon-bon. In fact, she’s Mon Chéri. So little Chéri, this pretty little exotic bird that my pet brought to me in his mouth, he whispers into my ear…

Bent [the Kitty]: I want to fuck this little birdie.

Lioness: And I say, “Well, I think before we tear this bird apart and eat her, we should toss her around and have fun with her like she’s a little ball of yarn because I’m a lioness and I have a kitty, and cats will play.”

Bent [the Kitty]: Meow.

Lioness:  We’re both cats. I’m a big cat and he’s a little cat. The little bird, we grab her and we’re like, “Oh little bird, we could so easily destroy you with our fierce feline-ness, but we want to play with you.”

And she goes, “Oh, oh! I’m supposed to leave but I don’t want to leave.” So she sends her friends off in a cab and she says, “I’m going to stay. I’m okay. I’m just a little bird.”

Real Sexy Talk: [Laughter]

Lioness:  So we take the little bird in our big paws where we could so easily crush and destroy her, but we just bat her around and we take her upstairs in this beautiful Noe Valley home. We take her up to the master bedroom, because you know, a lioness just walks into a place like she owns it, of course. We go to the master bed and we start the most amazing little – I don’t know how you would say it – is it a scene? Is it an incident? It’s an encounter, yes.

And she looks gorgeous. She’s got a pretty little face and these gorgeous wings that are black and lacy. I think to myself as a lioness, “God, I want to rip those wings off.”

But, let me send in a gentler kitty.

So I say, “My pet, I want you to take off your little dress.”

She was, “Oh, oh…um, um…I’m nervous. But I must be very titillated, because I’m just a little bird. ”

Real Sexy Talk: [Chirp, chirp, chirp]

Lioness: We take off her dress and she’s got beautiful breasts and this smoking little body and these tiny, tiny little underwear that actually don’t have any crotch to speak of.

In order to keep this brief, we’ll cut to the most pertinent points.

Bent – my little pet – I have him stroke her up and down with his big Danish cock… It’s Danish because it’s sweet, but it’s not a doughnut.

He strokes her up and down and she sucks on his big cock. She strokes it and I tell her exactly what to do to make him hot. I ask her to show us how she stokes herself when she’s alone and… where are her hands and where are her legs and what if she’s showing off for her lioness, what would she do?

She gets herself all ready and then I take his cock and put in a condom, because I’m a smart lion. I say, “I’m going to stroke his cock up and down your slit and I’m going to count to seven. On the seventh time, I want you to hop on it, little bird.”

And so one, two, three, four, five, six…and the last stroke — ohh — she hops on it and she’s so excited. She can’t wait. She couldn’t believe that I said seven and not three.

She hops on it and they start grinding and fucking. I’m holding him by his little leash and I say, “You may kiss her neck, you may bite her nipples, you may kiss her on the lips, you may look her in the eyes and fuck this shit out of her, kitty.” So he fucks, fucks, fucks and I stand back, holding his leash and stroking my pussy. I’m getting so aroused I can feel it inside me just building up, building up.

He bends her over the bed.

He fucks her so hard.

He flips her over and he fucks her again.

She starts squirting all over the bed and she squirts so much that she makes the whole sheets wet. I think, “Oh well, this is not my home and I’m a kind lioness, so let me grab a towel.” Before I can even grab a towel she squirts again all over the bed!

And now it’s on the pillows, it’s on the comforter, it’s on the carpet and I think, “Well, now I want to make it nice because other people have been attracted by the sound of an exotic bird betting fucked by a kitty.”

The Lioness DrinksSo I grab a towel and I lay it down. As I’m kneeling on the bed laying this giant towel down – I’m kneeling on the bed and my kitty looks at me and says, “My lioness, oh my lioness, may I touch your pretty little pussy?”

I said, “Oh, yes. Yes, you may.”

He puts his finger inside me, and in less than 30 seconds – and I am not exaggerating this part of the story at all – in 30 seconds he sticks his finger inside me and I didn’t even know that this was there: he pushes his finger inside me and it’s like he turned on a faucet! I squirt all over the fresh towel and I think, “My goodness! That feels good. What a gorgeous release.” Before he takes his finger out, I squirt again.

Real Sexy Talk:  A gorgeous release.

Lioness:  I think, “Oh, what a beautiful feeling.” I feel like I am just flooding with pleasure and I’m surprised. Then I gush again. So that’s three times that I’ve gushed and he was, “Oh, oh!” He’s fingering and fingering and fingering me and then “Oh!” For the fourth time I have the biggest gush of cum, and pleasure, and release and – ocean! – just pouring out of me than I’ve ever had in my entire life.

I reached down and he’s got his hand cupped under my pussy and I feel a puddle in his hand. I feel that my thighs are wet, the towel is wet, and the bed is wet, again.

I grab the little bird and I take her hand and I say, “Feel this, little bird. Do you want to drink from the puddle?” I grab her by her necklace and I pulled her in. I take her hand and I put it there and she was, “Oh, oh, I’m so excited. Um, um…” and she just comes in and pecks at my pussy and drinks up my juice.

That is the story of the lioness, the kitty, and the exotic bird.

Four times that I gushed. Four times!

Stay tuned for next week’s post in which the lioness tells us how and why she was able to ejaculate. Do you have your own squirting story to share? E-mail Pearl at pearl at realsexytalk dot com and your story could be featured next!

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Don’t Cook Bacon Naked

Pearl begins getting naked in front of a mirror. What do you feel when stripping down?When you begin to take off all of your clothes, do you feel free and empowered? Or vulnerable and exposed?

Being vulnerable can be a great thing, leading to greater intimacy in your romantic relationships, for example. Just be forewarned that while naked, it’s not a good idea to fry bacon, or anything for that matter. We’ve conducted interviews with several lifestyle nudists who evidently have conquered any body image issues and enjoy a healthy perspective on sexuality in general, in addition to their advice about what not to do while naked.

So, if you are the kind of person who likes to turn the lights off as soon as your clothes come off, or just curious about what nudism is like, then read on to learn why you might want to spend more time in your birthday suit.

Partying Naked

Three Ladies at Burning Man Donning PastiesI’ll start off by saying that my first experience being completely nude in public was in the desert of Black Rock City at last year’s Burning Man festival. If you know anything about Burning Man, this comes as no surprise.  Even in this liberated environment of “radical self expression,” though, there were only a few women donning their full birthday suits. Many opted for a topless look, and an even greater number wore a pair of modest pasties (see photo at left) to cover their areola. I was a bit disappointed really – and a bit scared to “bare all” myself. Some of the thoughts that entered my head were:

  • “Will someone take note of my imperfect body?”
  • “Will men leer at my large breasts?”
  • “Will revealing my bare pussy in public be an automatic invitation for sexual advances?”
  • “Will women avoid talking to me, or judge me?”
  • “Will I be able to hold a normal conversation with anyone?”

The moment I removed all my clothes I felt exposed, but a bit turned on at the same time. Perhaps I have a bit of an exhibitionist streak in me after all. My boyfriend Blake, whose preferred state is nude, declared that “this is the way nature intended!”

Adam & Eve Walking in the Garden of Eden: a Story from the Bible done in Legos“Well, sure,” I thought, with my Christian upbringing surfacing, “before Eve ate that apple and humans learned to feel ashamed about our bodies.”

Why is it that we feel so much shame over something so – well, natural? Is it the reactions of other people that we’re worried about –  or the insecurities that we have about our own bodies?

Nude in Nature

My second experience was in a more quiet setting at Harbin Hot Springs, a wonderful mountainside retreat in Northern California. There you can find the clothing-optional mineral springs and none of the festival-like atmosphere of Burning Man.  There are more meditative pools than conversational ones, all coupled with strict rules of etiquette.  There were older adults as well as children with their families bathing, sunning, and hiking. I spent the first evening there once again getting reacquainted with my cloth-less self while dipping in the warm, hot, and cold baths and trying not to feel awkward.

Buddha statue after the cold plunge at Harbin Hot Springs in Northern CaliforniaInitially, I observed how everyone else was handling this environment. It seemed that the older men and women were very comfortable, both in their own skin and while interacting with others. By contrast, some of the younger ladies with beautiful – dare I say, “hot” – bodies appeared the most uncomfortable, bringing me to the conclusion that confidence in this situation has little to do with your outward physical appearance.  That helped me relax a bit and remember that, though imperfect – I will always be a vixen (post on this topic coming soon).

It turns out that after a few hours of “people watching” and feeling like everyone else is watching you back, it becomes much more relaxed. You pay less attention to someone’s genitals, breasts, and body, and more attention to the general aura someone exudes… and everyone else does the same. It’s as if removing all the clothing – and in many cases the makeup and accessories, too – actually strips away a level of superficiality. Your personality really becomes the star, because you have nothing to hide behind.

When I returned home to the “textile impaired” world (as one nudist calls it), I wanted to see if others have had similar experiences. I discovered an active community of nudists via Twitter user @hippie_hollow, representing a beautiful clothing-optional public park in Austin, Texas. They welcomed me into their member forum, where I gathered perspectives from about a dozen nudists with varying backgrounds and degrees of participation in the nudist lifestyle, specifically asking about their experiences with body image issues, as well as any effects of nudism on their sex lives.

Note: I have made some minor edits for spelling and grammar, not intended to change original meaning by the poster.

Hippie Hollow on Body Image Issues

Pearl from Real Sexy Talk engages the nudist community from Hippie Hollow to see what nudists think about their body image, sex, relationships, insecurity, and more.As with my own experience, it appears that beginner nudists also feel a bit of discomfort at first, but quickly get over it.

jsmccr writes about an experience with his wife: “Our first ‘public’ nudity was at St. Martins along the Orient Beach strip on a vacation 4 years ago. We found a nice trail through a peninsula and I teased her by removing my shorts as she strolled topless alongside me. It only took a little more cajoling to convince her to completely bare herself to the people on the beach, but once she realized that no one was gawking at us, she relaxed and enjoyed an exhilarating swim in the ocean without a stitch of clothing.”

In this case, the wife’s discomfort was related to the perception by others. Once she dismissed this notion she truly enjoyed the experience.

Moon writes about the social / cultural barriers that are shed when you remove clothing from the equation: “Being completely naked we open ourselves to all our frailties, are more vulnerable, and start to know each other on a level playing field.” She further indicates that it’s important to have a supportive environment, like the one at Hippie Hollow: “In our acceptance of each others’ imperfections, we help each other improve our self-esteem… It is like a family at Hippie Hollow.”

travelmonkey333 has a healthy take on his smaller penis size: “i love visiting the park and shedding my clothes. […] i feel as though my self esteem raises up every time i’m out there. i’m more comfortable with sex than i was when i was younger, i may be able to attribute that to nudism. the compliments i get for having, ‘a cute lil penis’ also is a thrill along with the giggles from ladies from time to time.”

User austex66, who has been visiting Hippie Hollow since 1999 with his wife, agrees that nudism has helped them both shed former body image issues, and simultaneously motivates them to lead a healthier, more active lifestyle: “In this environment, one quickly sees that any body issues (weight, size, body build, complexion) are in common with many other people. Concerns that might have once been viewed as personal defects or shortcomings are actually just common variations of the human form. In our case, that revelation resulted in a more positive acceptance of our own bodies, as well as motivation to move past the couch potato stage and actually exercise a little and eat/drink in moderation to improve our appearance.” – austex66

By contrast, an athletic user named DJ has always felt comfortable being naked: “I have been in hundreds of locker rooms throughout my life starting at a fairly young age, so any and all embarrassment most certainly would have been rendered out of me long ago.”

Many nudists commented on just how natural it is to be nude, including wacocouple: “It is more natural to be nude than clothed. We don’t even think about being naked and sometimes must be reminded to put some clothes on. Living in the city makes it difficult to be naked outside in our own yard, but typically we are naked from the time we come home in the evening and take a shower until we get dressed the next day to go to work. Mentally we are naked all day, physically part of the day we happen to be covered with clothing.”

zorro humorously commented, “i was pleasantly surprised to find out im always nude under my clothing!”

When asked about any potentially embarrassing situations – such as becoming visibly aroused while nude – austex66 had this to say: “My only body response which was troubling when we started was what might be termed the ‘shrinkage factor’ coming out of chilly water, but it is what it is, many if not most guys are similarly affected, and it becomes a non-issue.”

Several other male users commented that any visible turn-on (i.e. an erection) could be easily remedied with a towel if it’s inappropriate for the situation. For example, user pprice writes, “I was having a day dream, staring off into the wild blue completely unaware of my surroundings when all of a sudden started to get an erection. I was sitting in a poolside chair at a family-oriented nudist facility. It was not the time or the place for a boner.  I covered with my towel and waited. It was not embarrassing but extremely awkward, fortunately nobody noticed. So I wouldn’t say erections are rare, but perhaps rarely noticed.”

To wrap up, I quote a user named Pete: “Nudists seem to be pretty well-balanced people. I don’t know if they have more self-esteem. There is certainly a lack of body-image problems.”  It appears that whether you come into the nudist lifestyle with body image issues or without them, the circumstances will allow you to quickly forget these insecurities and enjoy the benefits of being nude.

Benefits of Nudism, According to Nudists

So what are the benefits of being nude frequently, and in public?

austex66 mentions that nudism provided he and his wife more self-confidence in that “we had overcome unnecessary baggage that had been part of our upbringing” and mentions how this has helped in dealing with frustrating situations, e.g. the workplace. In another post, he writes “Getting nude in public is always a bit exhilarating, providing a sense of freedom, as well as pride and a sense of satisfaction in overcoming one of the most prevalent ‘taboos’ (against social nudity) that has persisted from our Puritan heritage. Its not so much the nudity that is a confidence builder as it is the knowledge that you individually had the courage to bare all in a public environment, and then socially interact with others who might be either bare or clothed.”

Pearl is Nude Behind a Freedom Flagdjreef has a slightly different, more physical sense of freedom while nude: “For me the feeling is all about the freedom. I hate clothing, and wear as little as I can get away with. The binding, restricting, pulling, limiting nature of textiles has always been problematic for me.”

Moon believes that it’s easier for nudists to transcend the physical body, and establish deeper emotional connections that way: “I think nudists are able to more easily get past the physical and touch at a deeper level, emotionally and even more so spiritually. And it is at the spiritual level that we find our soul mate. And when we are able to touch and communicate and stimulate arousal at these deeper levels, yes I think we can find more fulfilling relationships, whether those relationships become intimate or not.”

BluePari also mentions being free, as well as sharing an intimate experience with her partner at Hippie Hollow, “Going somewhere to be nude is very free and stress relieving… it has improved our sexuality because we are not limiting ourselves and we are exploring together. Though we have seen each other nude, there is something very attractive about seeing the one you love out nude in nature.”

steveandsherry write to me about their heightened sexual energy, “Pearl, my thoughts are that everytime I have been at a nudist resort or hollow, my wife and I are extremely horny. Its the greatest feeling in the world. I wish we hadn’t waited to go to nudist resorts.”

Naturamigo writes about freedom in a legal/political sense, as well as body acceptance that nudism provides: “I serve the US, and by defending Freedom, I believe I deserve the right to enjoy some Freedom as well. I run; and running gives me peace yet running nude gives me Freedom. I have a heavyset body; meaning that I don’t look muscular at all. I learned to love my appearance the first time in Tallahassee, FL in a place called Tallahassee Naturally. It is secluded and only few people go there. This group accepted me as I was. Now every chance I get I go to Hippie Hollow and run…Then refresh and enjoy the sun and the view.”

Do nudists do less laundry?Pete makes an interesting point that nudism is more economical! “I enjoy working outdoors nude. It just makes sense. It’s way more comfortable, and doesn’t soil any clothes. The laundry issue is expensive when you consider the water and energy consumed.” He does admit, though, that “there are circumstances where clothes are required for protection, like frying food!” Thanks for that, Pete… 😉

I Have to Ask… “What About Sex?”

Some people think that all nudists are openly sexual. By contrast, the responses in the forum were tempered and revealed many well-balanced attitudes about sex.

Number51 writes, “I’m no more turned on being naked in a group setting than if I’m clothed in a group setting. Unfortunately, I think a lot of people do buy into this assumption, and that’s why we have the laws about nudity that we have.”

BluePari, who identifies as “young,” has a different take. She acknowledges that her experience of being nude can be sexually-charged at times, but that sex in public is not always appropriate. (Note: …or legal. “Lewd,” “obscene,” and “offensive” acts may be prosecuted in many states. Though I’m no expert on the law, engaging in sexual activity in public is quite a different story than simply being nude. Use your best judgement). “It would be a lie to say that sex isn’t tempting between us, especially if you enjoy voyeurism or kinky sex… as for being turned on by others there, it isn’t as likely because they are not participating in sexual acts or anything you would feel naughty watching. Public sex is hott but only in the right atmosphere around the right people.”

Pete believes in keeping sex private: “There are some nude resorts that promote and even encourage open sexuality, and others that expect “decorum” among the guests. […] I think openly sexual behavior spoils the nudist experience. I know that may sound screwy, but when I am nude there is much more to the experience. Sure, there is a possible sexual component, but I’d rather leave it out since I consider that behavior private.”

hoosiermba writes about arousal, “Do I get turned on at Hippie Hollow? Sure. Do I get turned on at Dayton Beach, or some random bar, or the mall or whatever – sure. I just think that that a matter of human nature. Humans are programed to always be on the lookout for a suitable mate. I don’t think nudism has any causal relationship except there’s less left to the imagination!”

In conclusion….

Some great concluding statements from user smoothstud, “Nudists are not ashamed of their bodies and, therefore, are far more likely to appreciate and understand their bodies. In turn, except for other health concerns, our sex lives are better because we understand that sexuality is part of being human, not something negative that must be somehow ignored or, worse, repressed. People, mostly the clothing-inhibited, so often cover up very soon after sex out of a sort of fear of being caught. Nudists, at least from my perspective, are far more likely to enjoy a sexual experience (given the time) and more likely to remain nude longer when finished. Also, whenever I find myself in the mood, circulation is unrestricted by tight clothing, thus leading over time to a much longer and healthier sex life.”

Real Sexy Talk discusses the relationship between shame and nudity, and other sexual health topics.There is something disturbing about the shame many of us have regarding our own bodies, and the negative affect of that shame on our body image and self-esteem. It has been an eye-opening experience for me personally to discover nudism and the intense pleasure and freedom that comes when you shed your clothing, putting “all of the goods” out there for the world to see – whether you believe yourself to be physically attractive or not. I encourage you seek out a similar experience of your own and see what happens. For you, the next step may be to walk around your house naked once in a while, or to prolong putting on clothing after a good romp. The important thing is to push your comfort level (in the appropriate environment of course) and see what emotions come up, then reflect on how those emotions may be affecting you and your self esteem, sex life, and relationships in general.

If you liked this article, please visit the Hippie Hollow forums online – or the park in Austin, Texas in person – to continue discussion and get involved with a wonderful community of people. Thanks to everyone who contributed and hope to meet you all “in the flesh” one day.

CONTEST: Write an insightful comment on this article in the next 7 days. The best comment will WIN a copy of Real Sexy Squirting -OR- access to Pearl & Blake for a half hour conversation about anything you’d like to ask them! So put on your thinking caps and let us know what you thought of this article, your thoughts on nudism, or anything discussed above.

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3 Minutes to Orgasm (A Girl’s Guide to Self-Pleasure)

Last week I was having brunch with one of my childhood girl friends who I hadn’t seen in years. It was a sunny afternoon and we were drinking bottomless mimosas, so the conversation was flowing just like old times and turned kinky pretty quickly.

She described some of her recent sexual encounters. I of course followed with some of mine. We both had some good ones, and remembered how silly and how open we’d always been with each other, even “back in the day” when we were teenagers. She reminded me of something I hadn’t thought of in a long time, which was…

When I was 16, I told her that I could
make myself orgasm in 3 minutes.

I wasn’t lying. My then-recent first experiences with masturbation (admittedly, even before I knew what the term meant) had been extremely successful. I found the right spot, the right stroke, and the right muscle groups to contract and release to quickly bring myself to climax.

Needless to say, she was impressed, but short of a live demonstration at that time I couldn’t really describe it in the proper language. Despite this limitation, she held onto that thought for years and has since done plenty of experimentation on her own.

Now, with my grown-up and sophisticated sexual vocabulary, I’d like to share what I couldn’t verbalize all those years ago.

Treasure Hunting

Feel free to explore a little further than you would let a partner, and try to find the most sensitive part of your clitoris.

Finding the right spot to please yourself is extremely important. Get to know your clitoris. Begin to simply feel the tingling sensations that your experience when you run your fingers lightly around your clitoral hood. The most sensitive spot, anatomically speaking, is actually your clitoral head, which is underneath your clitoral hood and contains between 6,000 – 8,000 nerve endings (more than any other part of either a male or woman’s body)!

As an older woman, you have probably discovered how sensitive this area can be. At times, direct stimulation to the clitoral head can be uncomfortable – painful, even. In my youthful, early experiences with masturbation, I learned to indirectly stimulate my clitoris by placing a finger just above the tip of the hood, and move my fingers around there.

As a solo explorer, you have the benefit of using only as much pressure as you can take, therefore feel free to explore a little further than you would let a partner, and try to find the most sensitive part of your clitoris. The actual clitoral head can be felt with your sensitive finger beds by pulling the clitoral hood up and out of the way slightly with one hand while you explore with the other. You will feel a very small lump just under this protective hood. There’s a reason why the hood is there – touching your clitoral head may generate a sharp, electric sensation – almost a nail-on-chalkboard startle – in that area and even throughout your body, depending on how sensitized of an individual you are.

Don’t back off just yet. Place a finger bed gently just over the spot (not finger tip: watch your nails, ladies). Try tapping it slowly, lightly, and notice your body’s responses. Your body will soon remember this sensation, and begin to identify it as pleasurable in sexual scenarios.

Relax into it a little bit.

When you’ve had enough of these tiny jolts of energy, release your clitoral hood back into its original position.

Did you know you could feel something so small, so strongly? Makes me think of the Hans Christian Andersen fairytale The Princess and the Pea… but I digress.

The Emotional Part

Try not to feel guilty for taking some time for yourself.

Now that you’ve experienced the sharp, peak of sensation that your body is capable of, it’s time for the journey.

You thought you were going to learn how to make yourself orgasm in 3 minutes, in 3 minutes?

No no, it takes much more practice, but you’ll get there eventually.

A big part of why I was able to learn this so quickly when I was younger was that I had far less emotional baggage. Don’t get me wrong – I had my share of worries, but I wasn’t yet so concerned with body image, with a partner, spouse, children, groceries, etc. As a now-older woman, it actually takes more “work” to connect with myself than it used to.

I recommend in any case that you set aside a fair amount of time and a comfortable place for yourself to do this next piece. Try for the most uninterrupted time possible in your life (while it may not always be ideal), and then try not to feel guilty for taking some time for yourself. Close and possibly lock the bedroom door, if possible. Set aside your cell phone. Clear your mind of your to-do list.

And now, dedicate yourself to your body.

Slip into your bed. Are the sheets cold? Warm? Begin to notice the physical sensations around you as much as possible. It will help bring you into the present moment and away from other thoughts.

All Warmed Up

Caress your vaginal opening with a fingertip, as if rubbing the rim of a champagne glass.

Pull off your pants if not already. Tease yourself a bit as you go.

Fully immersed into the physical environment, start caressing yourself down below.

Spend some time on your outer lips. Do you feel hairy? Smooth? Appreciate your pussy for whatever state it’s in right now, even if it’s not your preferred state. Notice the density and texture of your hairs, if any. Play with them as you would a lover’s hair, or rub the bare skin as you would a lover’s bare bottom.

Lightly brush your fingers across your clitoral hood. Remember the sensations from the first exercise. Your body should remember the electric shock you gave it when you touched your clitoral head directly, and begin to feel even more excited.

Feel your own anticipation.

Venture down to the opening of your vagina. You may or may not be wet – that’s OK too. Caress the opening with a gentle fingertip, as if rubbing the rim of a champagne glass.

Notice your back arching, breathing getting heavier?

Before you go reaching for your vibrator in a hurry to “get off,” appreciate the very moment you are in. We often wish that our male partners would spend more time in foreplay – why shouldn’t we learn to please ourselves in the same teasing, titillating way?

As your genitals become engorged, wet, and hot for your own touch, begin to feel the muscles inside working, either voluntarily or involuntarily. Try to replicate what your body is doing with your own voluntary contractions.

Note: Many women practice Kegel exercises as a way to please their partner or increase satisfaction in a partner sex activity, but it’s actually quite pleasing to learn to use these muscles for your own enjoyment. I learned to climax before ever having sexual intercourse, and without really understanding its meaning. You, too, can focus on the pubococcygeus or “PC” muscle group to bring yourself over the edge – with or without a finger, toy, or partner.

The Big Finish

You may or may not need penetration to reach climax. In the beginning, I learned to use clitoral stimulation alone, and it was only later in life that I learned about the inner mysteries of the G-spot, anal play, and other more “advanced” orgasms.

My now-infamous 3-minute orgasm went something like this…

  1. Pants off, panties on… who has time for fully undressing?
  2. Reach down below, get a good clit rub going around the hood
  3. Increase speed of clit rubbing; get close to the more sensitive parts as excitement builds
  4. Concentrate on the feelings inside
  5. Contract, release, repeat
  6. Clench inner thighs (note: this is now a bad habit, avoid if possible)
  7. Breathe faster and deeper
  8. Stroke faster and a little harder
  9. Continue to contract, release, repeat
  10. Climax
  11. Catch breath
  12. Repeat

Okay, I didn’t say they were the most fulfilling orgasms ever, did I? Point is, I learned to “get off,” somewhat like a horny pubescent boy might do when he learns to spank the monkey… yet a somewhat admirable feat for a girl. And certainly much less discussed or accepted.

So, there it is. The process that led me to the 3-minute climax, multiple orgasms, and bragging rights with my closest of girl friends for life.

If you’re a woman and you’ve never climaxed before, at least the first part will help you to get in the mindset and begin to understand your own body. If you’ve climaxed but would like to do it more quickly between doing dishes and putting the kids to bed, this may prove a handy (hee, hee) guide. However, if you’re looking for true fulfillment, it’s best to always enjoy the journey rather than trying to reach the destination quickly.

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The G Spot and other Discoveries about Human Sexuality

Want to know more about the mysterious Gräfenberg a.k.a. “G” spot? This book provides plenty of scientific information about this often-misunderstood area of a woman’s body. The three authors come from various disciplines – psychology, sexology, and sex education.

I think you’ll enjoy this preview from Google books, which allows you to view about 50 pages of content for FREE:

Need more? The full version of The G Spot: And Other Discoveries about Human Sexuality is available on

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